Get to know my health journey as I help you with yours.

My Trichotillomania Journey

This is not the "Trich" your are thinking about which is short for trichomoniasis. Trichotillomania is a condition I developed as an adult survivor of child abuse. I developed this nervous habit of pulling my hair after surviving over 20 years of child abuse. That's another story on its own and I will save it for another day. 


Every time I sat in a stylist's chair they would ask me "what are your stressing about?"  It could be that outside I appeared poised but was suffering from trauma within. This is how I came up with the Hair Inside Out concept. Whatever is going inside will be expressed on the outside somehow someway. For some it may show up in a form of drug use to ease the anxiety or depression away. And for others it is boils, acne, fibromyalgia and more.  

Now let's talk about the shame that comes with Trichotillomania. In this picture, I am wearing sew-in at the most healthiest time of my adult life.  This protective style prevented me from getting to the same spot. Even though I still felt the tension in the spot from the stress and anxiety, I couldn't get to it to pull it. It's so weird but my hair never had a problem with growing unless I interfered with it. Can you relate?


Hiding the area solved the problem temporarily because I couldn't see it and couldn't get to it. But at the root, I was still coping with anxiety from the extension of staying in "fight or flight" from child abuse. "Fight or Flight" is that intense feeling you have when you are in danger but for individuals, such as war veterans or anyone who has suffered repeated trauma, the adrenaline rush never stops. In fact, It made me more nervous staying still than going.  


Again, I had to get to the root but I didn't realize that I was the cause of my hair loss in the crown of my head until two years ago. Fact, I was not consuming the best foods, getting the sleep I needed for restoration, and continuing my healing from child abuse.  I even tried to force myself not to touch that area by wearing a rubber band and snapping it each time I would go for that spot. I got this idea from a good friend. Well, that still didn't work because I didn't get to the root which was my anxiety. I have miraculously recovered from child abuse but the residue such as hair pulling to cope with stressful moments in my life still exist. I am still on the journey and wanted to connect with those who have suffered hair loss and dealt with shame from other conditions. How are you coping with your hair loss journey? 

I would love to see you at the upcoming workshop on January 19th or hear your feedback if you can't attend. Let's connect contact@nursesinmedia.com @patricefayefnp on IG